I Love You Too Much to Argue

I often post on tid-bits I pick up from Love and Logic because Jim Fay and Dr. Charles Fay do a wonderful job of giving parents advice, that they can easily incorporate into their lives.  Today is no different.  Many of us have been in situation where we have argued with our children.  Dr. Fay and Jim Fay prescribe two ways to neutralize an argument.

First, consider an empathetic statement.  It’s a great way to soak up your child’s emotions and avoid an argument all together.  Here are some examples:

Examples of empathetic statements that work:

• “Oh, no. I bet that feels terrible.”
• “Wow. What a bummer.”
• “I can’t imagine how bad that feels.”

Examples of statements that don’t work:

• “I know how you feel.”
• “I know just what you mean.”
• “I understand.”

Second, consider using a one-liner…and by one-liner they really mean it.  Think of yourself as a broken record.  Persistence will really pay off in this situation.  Here’s an example:

Example of a Love and Logic One-Liner that should become a habit for you:

• “I love you too much to argue.”

Sample dialogue:

Child: You never let me do what I want.
Parent: I love you too much to argue about that.
Child: But Sally always gets to do what she wants.
Parent: I love you too much to argue about that.
Child: Yeah, that’s cause you like her better.
Parent: I love you too much to argue about that. Come talk to me later about something fun. See you, sweetie. Thanks.

For the entire article, click here.

source: loveandlogic.com

Bedtime Math

Most parents read to their children at bedtime, but why not consider bedtime math?  I recently came across a great article on Scholastic.com.  The writer, Laura Overdeck, challenges parents to incorporate math into their bedtime routines.  She didn’t suggest anything overly complicated, just a few word problems that will push your child to think critically and do some mental math.

For example, let ‘s say you just read a book about a mischeivious dog?  You could pose some questions about that dog to your child.

Overdeck suggested some questions like these:

Wee ones (counting on fingers): Hannah’s dog Harley eats pretty much anything.  If Harley eats 3 pens, 2 crayons, and 4 washable markers, how many writing implements does he eat?

Little kids: If Harley eats 24 pages of your math book, and 13 pages of your history book, how many pages does Harley eat?  Bonus:  How many more pages of math than history does he eat?

Big kids: You’ve just written an 80-page paper.  If Harley eats 1/4th of it, how many pages does he eat?  Bonus: What if he eats 1/5th of what’s left – how many pages do you still have?

I love the idea of bedtime math, because we do tend to neglect math in the evenings.  We should teach our children how math is applicable in any situation, even after our bedtime stories.

For the full article, click here.

My Teacher is Mean!!!

As a teacher, no child has ever told me that I was mean, to my face!  Joking aside, what kids discuss at home is a different ball game.  So, what should you do when your child dislikes his/her teacher?  Here is some simple advice I got from the Parenting with Love and Logic website.  Check out the whole article here.

Tips:

1. Listen and empathize with your child if he/she complains about the teacher.- Typically when  child says this, they really need a loving ear.  Let them vent, don’t attempt to lecture, yell, or “fix” the problem.

2. Resist the urge to bash the teacher in front of your child.- Although you may not agree with the teacher, you should teacher your child that they should be respected and listened to.  However, let your child know that inappropriate behaviors from any person is never acceptable. With so many child abuse allegations in the news, listening to your child and educating them about what appropriate behavior is, is critical.

3. Help your child understand that having a tough teacher isn’t a bad thing.- Help your child understand that having a tough teacher is an opportunity to be successful with the most difficult people.  Same thing applies to the sports, watch “Miracle” if you haven’t already.

4. I loved this some much, I couldn’t paraphrase it:

“Remember: By teaching children to get along with a demanding teacher, we also are teaching them how to succeed with a demanding boss. 

Research has shown employees get along with even the most demanding bosses when they:

• Get to work just a bit early every day
• Show up with a smile and a positive attitude
• Listen and follow directions
• Work a bit harder than expected
• Get along well with other employees and customers

Kids who learn these skills at home and at school succeed with the most difficult teachers, get better grades, and eventually rise to the top of their chosen occupation.” (Love and Logic Parenting resources)

5. Get involved only as a Last Resort– Fortunately totally incompetent and negative teachers are rare, but in some cases you may need to get involved. Even if your child is the most responsible and well-behaved student ever, some teachers just shouldn’t be in the profession and could make your child miserable.  When you intervene, mind your manners and stay calm.  If nothing comes of the situation, involve an administrator.

I also loved this bit, so I had to share it from the article:

“When we follow these tips, we give our kids the gift of knowing they can succeed around all different types of people. Unfortunately, some parents steal this wonderful opportunity by trying to make sure their children’s teachers are “perfect.” Sadly, as adults, many of these children spend their lives being unhappy because other people are “mean” or “unfair.”

Don’t fall into this trap! Use these Love and Logic tips, and give your kids the responsibility and self–confidence they deserve.”

 

 

 

Teaching Kids to Self-Monitor for Desired Behaviors

No matter the situation, each child has behaviors that might drive you nuts.  So, how do you break bad habits or teach your child to strive for those desired behaviors?  Teach your child to self-monitor for those desired behaviors.

You can do this with these easy steps:

1. Identify the Target Behavior

2. Operationally Define the Target Behavior

3. Collect Baseline Data- Not totally necessary for at home use

4. Determine if this is an appropriate behavior to remediate- Parents usually know what behaviors need remediation

5. Design procedures and materials-usually consists of creating a simple chart and deciding on timed segments

6. Teach the child how to self monitor- teach the child how to use the chart

7. Monitor student’s progress- assess child’s charts and adjust intervention with improvement

This may seem like a lot of work, but really this can be as simple as a t-chart with “I was mostly on task” slated at the top.  Set a timer for 5 minutes and when the timer goes off you decide if the child was mostly on task and check mark the yes or no column.  With time, you can give the monitoring duties to the child. (see example in today’s article)

Today I have attached the article, by Lisa Rafferty, that gives the complete step-by-step to teaching a child to self-monitor.  Enjoy!

https:spedchat.wikispaces.com:file:view:Step+By+Step+Teachig+Students+to+Self+Monitor

 

ADD/ADHD…What it is and What Parents/Teachers can Do to Help

Lately I’ve been doing research on ADD/ADHD.  As a result of my past experiences and I had pretty good idea about the symptoms, but I know that there are many of us out there who don’t.  Here’s a quick break down:

• combined ADHD (the most common type), which involves all of the symptoms
• inattentive ADHD (previously known as ADD), which is marked by impaired attention and concentration
• hyperactive-impulsive ADHD, which is marked by hyperactivity without inattentiveness

                       * Reference WebMD.com

Everyone knows how common this diagnosis is, but the treatments really differ from person to person.  I have never been one to recommend medicating, but I do understand that some people really need medication to function with this type of diagnosis.  Besides this, I wanted to explore some interventions to help parents and teachers accomodate kids (some of these work for adults too) with ADHD.  I found this great resource online that lists the behavior and gives resolutions for the problem.  Some may seem like common sense, but when you are frustrated, this can really come in handy.

Here are some highlights from this resource, or click here for the full document:

Difficulty sequencing and completing steps to accomplish specific tasks (e.g. writing a book report, term paper, organized paragraphs, division problem, etc.)	Break up task into workable and obtainable steps. Provide examples and specific steps to accomplish task.
Shifting from one uncompleted activity to another without closure.	Define the requirements of a completed activity (e.g. your math is finished when all six problems are complete and corrected; do not begin on the next task until it is finished).
Difficulty following through on instructions from others.	Gain student’s attention before giving directions. Use alerting cues. Accompany oral directions with written directions. Give one direction at a time. Quietly repeat directions to the student after they have been given to the rest of the class. Check for understanding by having the student repeat thedirections.
Difficulty prioritizing from most to least important.	Prioritize assignment and activities. Provide a model to help students. Post the model and refer to it often.
Difficulty sustaining effort and accuracy over time.	Reduce assignment length and strive for quality (rather that quantity). Increase the frequency of positive reinforcements (catch thestudent doing it right and let him know it.

Helping your Child Add some Character to his/her Writing

You’ve probably been in a parent-teacher conference where the instructor has told you your child needs to liven up his/her writing.  The fact is, that we, yes adults too, use the same words over and over!  Humans are definitely creatures of habit, so doesn’t it make sense that we rely upon our typical vernacular to communicate?  In effort to show your child that there is more than one way to say something, start incorporating new vocabulary into your own speech and writing.  Your child might look at you weird for a little while, but maybe it will encourage him/her to ask you about the new word you are using.  If they don‘t, ask them about it.  It’s a perfect opportunity to introduce new words.

Today, I am attaching an awesome reference sheet, which lists oodles of character traits for your family to start using.  Begin by incorporating these words into your descriptions to show your kiddo how to use the word.  Spark a discussion with your younger child, talk about the difference between character traits and physical traits.  Take it further and talk about what ideal character traits are and the ones your child wants to exhibit.

I am confident that if you try this strategy home, at your next parent-teacher conference, the teacher will be raving about child’s word choice!

AListofCharacterTraits

Fun and Easy Math Games using a Deck of Cards

Often times children, and some adults, don’t associate FUN with math.  However, using something as simple as a deck of cards can really change a child’s point of view.  Today’s post is all about quick and dirty (because your kid won’t know he/she is doing fact practice) games you can play to drill math facts, do sorting activities, and even memory activities.  In the classroom, I often took out  a deck of cards to break up the time in class and get the kids fired up to learn.  At home, you can utilize these games at the end of  or during a homework session to bolster fact fluency.  This is especially useful if you have a kiddo that can’t sit for long periods of time because the element of competition is motivating.   Additionally, using 5 minute increments to “rest” and play a game of war can definitely refocus your child.  I am borrowing this link from another blog, but I used these same games with kids K-5th grades, just with modifications of course.  Check out the games here!  Enjoy a little math fun with your child tonight!!

 

Parenting Strong, Brave, and Courageous Children

 

Last year, a colleague shared a New YorkTimes article with me called, “What if the Secret to Success is Failure”.  I instantly connected to it, as I have learned from my mistakes and use those experience to improve my character.  However, it got me thinking, do we allow our children to fail?  Do we actually teach them to learn from their actions?  Or, do we scare them so they never try something again?  I’m not talking about playing with fire, but trying something new and uncharted!

As a teacher, I noticed a lack of resilience in the children.  Most kids wouldn’t even try because they were afraid to fail.  Now that I have my own children, I want to teach them to be courageous and not to see failure as a bad thing.  But how?  My husband and I have done  volunteer work with Special Olympics, and I have always loved the SO oath: ” Let me win, but if I cannot win, let me be brave in the attempt”. I want this to be our family mantra!  Besides being a role model for my children,  maybe I could start through introducing book characters who possess bravery, courage, and strength.  Thus, began my research and here’s what I found.

Here is a blog post that introduces you to book characters with great character, but these books are geared towards girls.  From Pinkalicious to Madeline, the writer gives you a quick read on each literary series. Check it Out!

Here is a listing of books specifically about courage

Here is a listing of books for older children

Don’t stop with reading, but ask your child how he/she can be brave just like the character.  Talk about what’s scary for them and how they can cultivate strength like the character.  Also, talk about failure: what it is, what it means, and why its scary sometimes.  Most importantly, talk about the good things that come from failure: resilience, bravery, strength, work ethic, and pride.

 

Find Level Appropriate Books for your Child with the Ease of your Phone

 A  frequently asked question I get  is, “How do I know if a book is level appropriate for my child?”  First, your child’s teacher can tell you what level your child is in a couple ways, via Lexile measure, grade equivalent/AR Level, guiding reading level, or DRA level.  Teachers find what level your child is by using various tests and will typically give you one of these measures.  Schools that I have previously taught at used grade equivalents and DRA.  Teachers don’t usually use all 4, it’s just too much to manage.

Next, when you are searching for a book, there are some apps for your SmartPhone that can assist you.  From my perusal of the app store I found these to be the some options:

1. Level Finder $1.99 and 4+ Star and Consumer Rating: You can search for books based on grade equivalence only, but includes over 126,000 titles.  You search by full or partial title, AR points, AR Level (gr. equiv.), and author name.

2. Level It Books $4.99 and 4+ rating:  This is a relatively new app, so there aren’t any buyer reviews yet.  However, this is a great tool for parents and teachers.  You can scan the ISBN and easily get all four types of level reading levels for a book.  You can look at teacher recommendations of books too.  For teachers, you can keep rosters for checking out books and maintaining reading levels.  This app also has a feature that allows you to loan out books using the check-out feature.

3. Book Retriever $.99 and 4+ rating but only 2.5 stars from consumer: This app has all of the same features as Level It Books does, but teachers can send parents notes via the app and you can print labels for your books too.  Downside to this app, the consumer reviews say that is has functionality issues.  Seems like they have some bugs to work out.  However, one of the reviews states that a call  to the company explaining the problem solved her issue with logging in.

Websites:

4. Scholastic Book Wizard is not an app but you could bookmark it in your browser on your phone.  You can type in the title, keyword, or author of  a book to retrieve reading level information. http://www.scholastic.com/bookwizard/

5. AR Book Find is also a great site for those of you who have children using the Accelerated Reader program or want grade equivalency.  You can search via title, author,  or keyword.  http://www.arbookfind.com/usertype.aspx

If all else fails here is an idea, The Five Finger Rule.  The premise is easy.  Open to a page of the book and have your child read the page.  One to two missed words means the book is too easy.  3 missed words means the book is just right.  4-5 missed words means the book is to difficult for independent reading.  This rule is great with one caveat, ask your child to explain what he or she just read.  Although, your child can read the words, he/she may not comprehend the text.  If your child did not comprehend the text, it could also be because he/she is not interested in the book.  Try a new book of interest or go back to a book that would be considered easy to see if the comprehension is better. I attached a PDF with the Five Finger Rule below.  Now there’s no excuse…get your kiddo reading!

Five Finger Rule

 

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Cultivating a Critical Thinker

Teachers are familiar with Bloom’s taxonomy, as it’s our base for writing learning objectives, but for those of you who are not familiar, here is a quick synopsis:

Bloom’s taxonomy was originally created Benjamin Bloom for categorizing and classifying levels of intellectual learning that commonly occur in the classroom setting. Bloom’s taxonomy contains three overlapping domains: the cognitive, psychomotor, and affective. Within the cognitive domain Benjamin Bloom identified six levels that have become commonly known as Blooms Taxonomy.

The six levels of Bloom’s taxonomy, from lowest to highest, are: knowledge, comprehension, application, analysis, synthesis, and evaluation. These different levels of Bloom’s taxonomy have become an extremely useful guide for teachers in planning classroom lesson plans and classroom objectives. You can even find a list of verbs to help teachers design lesson plans in the Bloom’s Taxonomy Verb Chart located on this web site: http://www.teaching-tips-machine.com/blooms_taxonomy.htm   *source: http://adamwaxler.articlealley.com/what-is-blooms-taxonomy-18775.html

As parents, we strive to push our children to think critically in everyday situations, but forget to include this when guiding them in their homework.  Teachers and parents all understand the “get it done” factor of homework.  Incorporating an element of higher order thinking can definitely fall by the wayside.  However, discussing the reading your child has been doing  is a great way to cultivate your critical thinker.  But, what should you ask your child?  What should you talk about?

Today, I have attached an awesome resource that you can  share with your kiddo.  Simply print out the document and use the cards to ask your child questions or guide your discussion about the book he/she is reading.  Remember, Bloom’s has 6 levels,

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so challenge your child to think at various levels. Choose questions from each level and get chatting with your little Aristotle!

BloomsQuestionCardsFREEBIEBoomsTaxonomy copy